


saccharin

by Latia



Category: Cucumber Quest
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Intimacy, Intimate Healing, Kissing, POV Minor Character, Polyamory Negotiations, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: There was nothing Lettuce hated more than fakes, and that snobby, sugary, goody-goody little princess was the biggest fake of all.





	saccharin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mieldyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mieldyne/gifts).



> Spoilers for up to the current page of Cucumber Quest (Page 893)

“Lettuce, you’re scheduled for guard duty for Parfait’s quarters.”

The announcement was dropped as casually as a piece of toast in the middle of morning assembly. In the pause between Cordelia’s sentences, Lettuce could hear the other knights shifting. A cough. A throat being cleared. A misunderstanding, right? She would correct herself-

“Squad B is scheduled for their usual position in the Main Hall.”

“W…wait now...”

“Squad C will be assigned to-”

“W-wait just a minute here!!!”

The list perched in between Cordelia’s thin fingers dropped to reveal her lips pursing into a thin red line. Lettuce could see her eyes lift for a moment, as if asking some higher power for strength.

“What is it, Tomato.”

“I’ll tell you what it is!” Tomato stomped out of line, stepping in front of Lettuce. “What gives?! Me and Lettuce have always had guard duty for the princess!”

“Your _squad_ has always had guard duty for the princess.” Perhaps because it was still early in the morning, the scathing tone in Cordelia’s voice was only about a Level 1, basically dripping off her tongue as she slouched in the former king’s throne. It was still fairly impressive, Lettuce noted, seeing the guards in line with her carefully inch backwards. “And seeing as how you decided to fire your third member, _without my permission_ , our numbers needed shifting. You’re getting reassigned.”

Tomato clenched his fists at his sides. “Oh come on- if anything we’re better off without the little twerp!” Blatantly a lie. Even Tomato didn’t seem convinced in the seconds after saying it. “I… I can find someone else, give me, just give me a day-!”

“It’s not just a matter of numbers, Tomato.”

“Then what-?!”

“He wanted you reassigned.”

A collective chill went down the spine of every knight in the room. There was no need to clarify who “He” was.

From where she stood, Lettuce couldn’t make out the look on Tomato’s face, but from the quiet noises he made, she could guess he was doing a fairly decent impression of a fish right about now.

“Are we done?” Laying a sharp elbow on the throne’s armrest, Cordelia perched her chin on the center of her palm. “Or would you like to bring a complaint up with Him.”

“Hh,” Tomato said. Lettuce could see his ears drooping. “Nn.”

Cordelia stared silently at him for a moment, and though her eyes still held that half-bored-half-disdainful look, there was a quick moment of something like gleeful sadism on her face.

But it vanished as her eyes flickered to stare straight at Lettuce. “And you, Lettuce. Do you have any complaints.”

Lettuce-

Lettuce started, blinking rapidly. She realized, with a bit of surprise, that she hadn’t uttered a word during this entire discussion.

“I….”

Lettuce’s gaze skittered. Cordelia. Tomato. The floor.  
  
“I-I, uh… yeah. I mean, yeah, no, it’s fine… I’m cool with it.”

Tomato whipped his head around to look at her with disbelief, and Lettuce instantly winced.

“Wonderful,” Cordelia said dully, picking up her list once more. “If we could continue, then…”

With what seemed like a final burst of bravado, Tomato turned once more. He positioned himself directly in front of Cordelia in one huge stride, back straight and shoulders set. “Now listen here-!”

Cordelia’s list dropped. _**“Is there a problem.”**_

“No ma’am,” Tomato squeaked.

 

* * *

 

“_____”

“...huh?” Lettuce mumbled, staring at the wall.

“I SAID-!”

Tomato paused, darting a series of quick glances in every direction. They were only a few feet away from the door of the main hall, lingering after their daily assignments like usual. But Cordelia, like usual, has disappeared as soon as she had dismissed everyone- nobody seemed to really know where she spent her time when she wasn’t giving orders. Lettuce could only assume she was either scheming with that bratty little witch or… with Him.

In any case, neither of their bosses were anywhere to be seen, so Tomato switched back from fearful to indignant. “-I said, I can’t BELIEVE this!”

“Oh… oh.” Lettuce flinched, realizing what ‘this’ was and realizing she should be sounding a lot more passionate right now. “Uh, y-yeah, totally! Like, completely bogus.”

Tomato leaned against the wall, heaving a great sigh. “Ugh. After all I’ve done. After I went through the trouble of the new uniforms and everything!”

For a brief moment, Lettuce considered, once again, reminding him who actually made those uniforms. The idea died quickly.

After a silence, Tomato sighed once again, a much more subdued sound this time. There was a serious look in his eyes. “There’s no use getting angry. There’s only one person I have to blame for this.”

Lettuce looked up, eyes wide.

“That blasted mailman!”

Ah.

“Brambleberry, or whatever his name was? It would have been PERFECT! We didn’t even need to change the squad name or anything! And I don’t see what the problem was, the pay for being a knight has gotta be way better than a measly mailman, right?!”

“Probably,” Lettuce muttered as Tomato kept on rambling on. She knew he would have reacted the same way if she hadn’t answered, or she hadn’t been there, or if she hadn’t been born. Whatever. It was fine.

“Ah… whatever,” he finally finished with a grumble, fiddling at his beard. “It’s almost time.”

“Yeah…” Lettuce scrapped her heel against the tile floor. She and Tomato hadn’t really worked apart since they had formed squads. This felt like something huge. It felt like she should at least say something. “I, uh… it, like, blows that we’re gonna have to split up.”

Lettuce wasn’t hoping for much of a reaction from him, so when he rested his big hand on her shoulder, her heart practically leapt into her throat.

“It’s alright, Lettuce.”

Lettuce’s throat went dry. This couldn’t be happening.

“This can still work out for us,” Tomato said gently. “You’re really important to me, Lettuce...”

Her knees were trembling. Her heart was beating so loudly she was sure it could be heard in the Space Kingdom. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be-

“-because since you’re both girls, you can take this opportunity to talk with Parfait more!” Tomato said triumphantly. “You’ll be my most important ally in winning her heart!”

“Haha. Yeah.” Lettuce smiled tightly around her gritted teeth. “Like, Totally.”

 

* * *

 

The princess stared at Lettuce.

She was still wearing that Miss-Perfect-Pink-Pure-Princess ensemble, but she didn’t have that doofy crown of hers on, for once. Her strawberry hair was hanging loose around her face, framing a pair of weirdly piercing green eyes. Lettuce felt strange enough standing in her chambers without Tomato and Bacon by her side. The look on the princess’s face, as Lettuce clutched the tray of food and a bundle of napkins by her chest as if they were some sort of shields, turned the quiet air in the room into pure liquid awkwardness.

“Uh,” she sputtered. “It’s, like, lunchtime.”

“I told you I didn’t want you lot skulking around my room without knocking first!” Her voice wasn’t near her maximum pitch of obnoxious shriek, yet, but it was already irritating. _“Or at all, for ‘zat matter,”_ she added with a slight growl, which frankly sounded hilarious in her delicate little throat. “Do you feel like getting in trouble again?!”

“H-hey, just chill, alright?!” Placing the tray on one of the dainty little tables that decorated her room, Lettuce raised her hands in a placating manner. “I’m just here to bring your food, that’s all.”

The princess glared at Lettuce, which was about as menacing as a puppy trying to bark. After a moment, her lips pursed into a prissy little pout, eyes drifting around the room. “...Tomato’s not with you?”

“ _Sir_ Tomato’s not here, yeah,” Lettuce nearly spat back... only to suddenly feel awkward as she realized she didn’t know what else to add. She barely ever said anything to the princess that wasn’t just backing up something Tomato said. It was weird being the one leading the charge on this… it was weird being the only one _doing_ this. “Y-yeah,” she repeated under her breath. “We just, like… he got reassigned.”

“...oh.”

The silence was thick for a moment… only to be broken by a disgustingly dainty giggle.

“Well, that makes sense. I didn’t catch a whiff of that silly cologne he drowns himself in every day.”

Lettuce tossed the napkins so hard at the table she heard something fall over. She didn’t look back to see what it was. “Enjoy, _Princess_ ,” she sneered, stalking out of the room.

A massive BANG echoed through the halls as she let the door slam shut behind her, and for a moment, she felt satisfied.

 

* * *

 

But of course, Tomato had asked her for something important.

And so, of course, a few hours later, Lettuce found herself in the princess’s room once again with another tray (topped with a vase of flowers yanked out of the castle gardens) and a flat, fake smile plastered on her face.

The princess looked at her oddly. “Are you alright?”

“Totally,” she simpered.

The princess just stared at her for a few moments, her eyes dropping to the food.

“Well, uh… thank you, I suppose.”

A silence.

“Er… you can go now.”

“Oh come oooon, Parfy,” Lettuce said with a hiccuping giggle and a flick of her hand. “Is it a crime to just shoot the breeze with a gal pal every once in a while?”

“.............................................................what?”

“Like, come on, we’re basically friends by now, right?”

“No?? Of course we’re- did you just call me your ‘gal pal?’”

“Don’t you just-”

“Did you just call me _Parfy?”_

“ _-Don’t You Just,_ like, ever feel like spilling your guts, gal to gal, talking about your feelings and, like, stuff you like, and… stuff?”

“...Tomato put you up to this.”

“N-no, he didn’t!” Lettuce sputtered.

“Uh-huh,” the princess replied flatly. “So you, who have never spoken to me, or interacted with me, for any other reason besides telling me ‘ow foolish for not leaping into Tomato’s arms, now suddenly want to be my best friend.”

“I just, come on!” Internally, Lettuce wracked her brain for any sort of thread to save her. “You know! It’s like- I’m the only one here, and you’re the only one here, and it’s BORING! Aren’t you bored?! Don’t you just want to talk for a second?”

The princess looked at Lettuce coolly. Lettuce could feel several beads of sweat slip down the back of her neck.

“...alright,” the princess said finally, delicately dropping down to perch on one of her prim cushions. “Fine. If you truly feel so strongly about it. What do you want to talk about.”

Lettuce was left standing awkwardly. “Uh… well… you know…” She scratched the back of her neck. “What, uh, what do you, like, do with your free time?”

“I think about being free.” Her gaze was as flat as her tone.

“O-oh, well-”

“I think about escaping. I think about tricking Cordelia’s little witch into petrifying her. I think about Carrot returning with The Legendary Hero and bashing Cordelia and every single knight that betrayed me and Papa into a little pulp, and then I think about banishing the pulp to a star so far away no one could ever see it, even with the Space Kingdom’s most powerful telescope.”

“...any hobbies?”

The princess looked at Lettuce with something like suspicion.

“... I like to draw.”

“Wait, really?” Lettuce blurted, partially out of surprise but mostly to change the subject. “Like, what do you draw?”

  
“People. Things.” Her tone seemed a little less hostile now, though she still stared more at the floor than she did Lettuce’s face. “Dresses, sometimes.”

“Like… cartoons?” For a brief moment Lettuce thought about Bacon, who always seemed to like that kind of thing, and how that probably would have made their third teammate fall harder for the princess. For a briefer moment, Lettuce felt a pang of sadness.

“ _Je suppose,_ I’m not the best, but I’m practicing. I think it’d be nice to maybe make a children’s book someday.” For a moment, her eyes drifted to the massive bookshelves that lined the wall behind her. “I’ve always liked reading, ever since I was small. I think about those books, sometimes, and how it’d be lovely to give memories like that to a child-”

“A-ah, so you like books?” Lettuce darted over to the shelves. “That’s, uh, nifty! We have something in common!”

The princess arched an eyebrow. “You like reading?”

“Uh- aha, like, you know, romance novels and magazines and stuff.” It wasn’t really a lie. Lettuce was more a writer than a reader. And more of a source of several books worth of autobiography/sad poetry about masculine men and heartache than a writer. “Uhhh, but uh… so what kind of books do you have?”

“W-wait, don’t touch those!”

Lettuce paused as she read the title of the book in her hands. “Wait…”

“I said put that down-!”

_“Baby Bonbon and Caramel?”_

A silence.

“...this is like… a baby book.” Lettuce looked at the princess incredulously. “You still read this?”

The princess’s face looked as red as her hair. “A-and just what’s wrong with that?” She said haughtily.

“I think I read _Baby Bonbon_ books when I was, like, four.”

“I said I want to write children’s books-”

“But this is, like……… a _baby_ book.”

“It’s a LOVELY story.”

Lettuce sniggered. “I mean, ‘story’ is kind of a strong word-”

The princess smiled as she snatched the book from Lettuce’s hands. “You know, I think I’d like to eat my dinner now.”

The door slammed shut behind Lettuce.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days passed. Lettuce left the princess’s meals in her room with no comment from either of them. The hostility in the air died down, but there wasn’t really anything else to replace it.

Just as Lettuce was beginning to think the Getting To Know Her Better plan was a bust, one day Lettuce entered her chambers to find no one to greet her. Looking around the room a bit, Lettuce finally spied the princess’s ears peeking out from the upper loft. She had never been up there- considering it was the only place her bed could have been, Lettuce had assumed long ago it was extremely off-limits.

“Hey,” she called, setting the tray down on a table. “I’m like, just gonna put this here.”

Lettuce turned to leave

“Wait.”

and stopped.

“Could you come up ‘ere for a second?”

Lettuce stared at the loft. Maybe she misheard.

“...just for a moment.” The princess’s head peeked out at her. “I just need to see something.”

After a moment, Lettuce cautiously creaked up the stairs. For the first time in a while, she felt like she should be on guard.

The princess, sure enough, sat in the center of a surprisingly simple bed. To Lettuce’s shock, she wore a white apron over a plain pink dress. Her hair was up in a casual ponytail, strands spilling out around her face. It was silly: Lettuce had always known, in the back of her head, that even princesses couldn’t always wear elaborate gowns, couldn’t always look flawless, but seeing it with her own eyes- being _allowed_ to see it with her own eyes- it was utterly bizarre. She almost looked like an entirely different person. She looked good.

...what?

“Dame Lettuce?”

“Like, what??”

The princess sat cross-legged on her comforter, head tilted as she watched Lettuce clear her throat.

“I asked if you could pose for me.”

“...what.”

“I have this idea, you see, but it’s difficult getting the pose right without reference.” For the first time, Lettuce realized the princess was surrounded by sheets of scrap paper on her bed. She could see the faint lines of sketches on some of them. “I’ve tried doing it myself, with a mirror, but I can’t really hold the pose and my pencil at the same time, aha…”

“So you, like... want me to be your model?” Lettuce arched an eyebrow.

“Just for a few minutes!” The princess clasped her hands together in front of her. “I promise! I just want to get a sketch down!”

“Okay, okay, ugh!” Lettuce rolled her eyes, trying to look away from the soppy look of supplication on her face. “Let’s just get this over with. What do you want me to do.”

What the princess wanted her to do was sit squashed up on a nearby couch, one leg bent in front of her so her hands could be perched on her knee. She told Lettuce to turn her head away, but only slightly. She could still look out of the corner of her eye to watch her frantic sketching.  
Her head bobbing up and down slightly as she looked between Lettuce and the drawing.

The way how those graceful little movements of her neck gradually made her ponytail a bit looser.

The way that eventually caused more hair to slip out, curling around her cheeks.

It bugged Lettuce.

She wanted to push it away from her face.

She wanted to

“Okay, done!”

Lettuce blinked. “H-huh?”

“I got what I needed down.” The princess smiled proudly down at her paper, and shot a similar smile up at Lettuce. _“Merci beaucoup,_ Dame Lettuce.”

She rolled her eyes again. “Ugh, like, whatever.”

This time, when Lettuce left, she made sure to catch the door before they slammed shut.

She was annoyed for the rest of her shift. She thought that modeling would have taken much longer.

 

* * *

 

“You want me to be your model AGAIN?”

Lettuce placed her hand on her hip as the princess laughed sheepishly, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. Today she was wearing a T-shirt (!) and sweatpants (!!!), and she _still_ managed to look infuriatingly put together.

“You were good at modeling!”

Lettuce sighed, exasperated. “I should, like, be charging you for this.”

The princess pressed her hands together. “Please, Dame Lettuce…”

“Ugh-”

“It’d be a shame not to draw you! Your face is so lovely!”

“-ah.”

What.

What.

What.

“You can just sit where you did last time.” When did she lead her up the steps? When did she lead her, by the hand, to the couch? “Just move your head a little…” Wait. When did she sit down? “Perfect, that’s perfect! Let’s do a ten minute sketch for this one!”

Lettuce scowled, turning back to her. “Look-!”

Her head was bent as she grabbed her sketchbook. Red hair framed her shining eyes. “You look so lovely in the morning light, Dame Lettuce!”

By the time she looked back up, Lettuce was turned back into position.

If anything, at least the morning light hid her blush.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, like, SERIOUSLY, I should be charging you for this.”

Lettuce scowled as she leaned against the balcony railing, back to the sky. The princess sat cross-legged on the ground this time, something Lettuce was sure she would have never expected to see a princess do. She let out a gentle titter, making Lettuce roll her eyes.

“I’m afraid I don’t ‘ave much in the way of pocket change right now, Dame Lettuce.”

Lettuce let her head fall backward as she groaned. “You’re a princess!”

“It’s a bit ‘ard to get an allowance,” the princess said, words a bit more biting than usual, “when your father is imprisoned away from you.”

Lettuce shut her mouth.

...no. No, she absolutely was NOT going to feel guilty about this. SHE wasn’t the one who imprisoned that stuffy old- this just proved that the princess, sugar-sweet outside aside, was still a manipulative little faker deep down, just like Lettuce knew she was. She glared at the princess, who looked a little more solemn now. Faker. Fake. Fakey fake fake-

Lettuce sighed, looking back over the castle gardens for a moment. It was near evening now, and the dusky colors reminded her of that night she and Tomato had spent searching for the princess’s locket. The locket they never found. The locket that mysteriously reappeared on her neck the next day without comment.

The locket that hung around her neck right now.

Lettuce glared at the stupid thing, and as the seconds ticked by she felt her irritation grow more and more. It must have been showing, because after a moment the princess cleared her throat. Lettuce looked up to find a gentle, but guarded look of worry on her face, and that made her even madder.

“Is there a problem, Dame Lettuce?”

“You-!”

A problem? A problem?! The problem- the problem was- why couldn’t she think of a problem? Why was she so mad??

“What do you even see in him.”

The question came out surprisingly quiet. Both of them were silent a moment, blinking, as if they both needed a second to puzzle out what Lettuce meant.

“I’m… sorry?” The princess asked, again with a guarded look on her face. She had to have known what Lettuce meant, but she still had the nerve to go on: “I’m afraid I don’t know-”

“Oh cut the crap!” Lettuce was pleased to find a bite return to her voice. “That loser- that nebbish little twerp!”

Her face was completely flat this time, betraying nothing as she returned to her sketchbook. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dame Lettuce,” and Lettuce wanted to puke at her psuedo-uncaring tone. “I don’t know any losers.”

“How can you still be- here, acting like this?! Pining for that coward when Tomato is right in front of you?!”

The princess said nothing for a few seconds that felt like weeks. When she looked at Lettuce again, there was something wry on her face. “You can’t understand why I would love Sir Carrot over that man?”

“I don’t UNDERSTAND why you’d pick that milksop over a real man, yes!”

The princess snorted like a horse.

She practically flopped over in her lap, shoulders heaving.

Lettuce stared.

“Y-y-y-y-you th-think…” The princess made strange little gasping noises that, for a moment, Lettuce thought was the sound of her weeping… before realizing she was guffawing. “THAT is what you call a ‘real man’?!’”

For some reason, Lettuce could feel her face go hot. “Y-yeah? Duh?? That’s normal??? Who WOULDN’T-?!” The princess laughed harder, and Lettuce’s cheeks went hotter. “I-!! W-well what do YOU call a real man, then?!”

“I don’t know?!” The princess looked up with tears in her eyes. “Who cares?!”

“Who c-?!” Lettuce balled her hands into fists. “Fine, then answer my first question! What do you see in Carrot?!”

Slowly, the princess stopped laughing.

“Kindness,” she whispered softly.

Lettuce blew air out of her lips like a donkey.

“ _Kindness,_ ” the princess repeated, slightly louder, “and humility. And loyalty. Perseverance. _Chivalry,_ ” she added, giving Lettuce a look. “And respect, especially towards women.”

Lettuce gave another snort, a little more subdued this time. “Wow, and look where all THAT got you. He respected you SO much he ran away and left you here.”

The princess straightened her shoulders, seeming much taller while still being on the ground. Her hand found her necklace. “He is with me.”

“Oh here we _go_ -”

“He is always with me. No matter how far apart we are. No matter how grim things look. Our hearts are always connected-”

“Yadda-yadda, whatever.” Lettuce yawned without bothering to cover her mouth. “And meanwhile, he’s galloping around all the other kingdoms, free as a bird, and getting to cavort around with all the girls he wants.”

“He’s allowed to.”

Lettuce froze mid-yawn.

“...What?”

“I mean, I don’t think he would, but, I figured I should at least allow him that much-”

“You told him he could go mess around with other girls before he left?!”

“No!!! I m-mean, not before he left,” and the princess’s cheeks went a little pink, “and not so _crassly._ ”

“Then when-?”

“Ages ago, goodness gracious.” The princess rolled her eyes, but smiled as she touched her necklace. “He was concerned that I was… ‘selling myself short’,” and there was something sad in her voice. “I tried to tell him that wasn’t the case, but he wouldn’t have it. He told me I should be free to pursue other lovers if I wanted to, and so I tried to get him to come off it by telling him it’d only be fair if I did the same for him…”

She blushed primly.

“It was all so silly, but the more we talked the more we began to become serious. We thought about it- we’re both young, and we had only ever felt love for one another, and it had started from such a young age for us-”

_Buh-arf,_ Lettuce thought, more out of habit than anything.

“But maybe, we realized, maybe we were sort of limiting ourselves. Limiting… the idea of love?” She sighed. “It all sounds so silly when I say it… basically, feeling things for other people, holding affection for other people, it shouldn’t devalue what we have for each other, no? Why should love be treated like a limited thing?”

Lettuce said nothing. She vaguely wondered what her face looked like.

“In any case, neither of us ever actually acted on it, but… we never said we wouldn’t act on it. I don’t know.” The princess sighed, letting her head fall back against the railing. “I love him so much, and acting as if my love for him would be tainted by loving others, well... wouldn’t that be an insult to the both of us?”

Lettuce’s head was feeling oddly hazy. She was beginning to think about things she had never considered. Things she had never wanted to consider.

“And I mean, there are already others I love just as deeply as I do him.”

Time came to a screeching halt.

“Wh…” Lettuce swallowed. “Who do you mean?”

The princess laughed. “Well, the citizens of the kingdom, of course!”

Ah.

Time resumed. The heartbeat pounding through Lettuce’s skull sounded like sarcastic applause.

“Honestly, how could a proper ruler not hold love for her people?”

“Yeah. Right. Cool, whatever.” Lettuce sighed. “Do you want to get back to drawing or what?”

She did, apparently. Lettuce returned to her haughty half-lean on the railing, trying very, very hard to convince herself that for that half-second, she had thought the princess meant Tomato.

 

* * *

 

“So she’s basically thinking about dating other people?!”

Lettuce looked at Tomato.

“...yeah.” It wasn’t a lie, technically.

“Ha-HA!” Tomato pumped a fist into the air. “This is fantastic! I’m pretty much halfway, no, like 90% there!!!”

“Uh-huh.” Lettuce stared at the cobblestone beneath her feet. They were standing under an awning on the edge of the castle gardens. Lettuce had fantaized more times than she could count about having some sort of romantic moment with Tomato in this very spot. I guess that’s technically what this is, she thought with a bitter laugh.

“And you said she likes drawing and stuff, right?!”

“Yeah.”

“Perfect, perfect!” Tomato grinned, stroking his beard. “So I have an in, too! Artists DIG it when you offer to model for them! It’s practically required flirting!”

“...like, have you dated an artist before-?”

“I KNEW I just had to be persistent!” Tomato said, ignoring Lettuce loudly. “Make no mistake, Lettuce, the key to winning hearts is never, ever, EVER giving up!”

Lettuce didn’t say anything. The words _Artists DIG it when you offer to model for them_ was rolling back and forward in her head. An image of the princess clasping her hands together. _PLEASE, Dame Lettuce…_

“Lettuce?”

“Hm???” Lettuce straightened up, tightly smiling. Her face was hot again.

Tomato tsked, a mild look of concern on his face. “You’re spacing out again.”

“Uh, aha, it’s like, totally nothing…” Lettuce scratched the back of her neck nervously. “...hey, uh, Tomato…”

“Huh? What is it?”

“So like…” Lettuce tapped her foot nervously. “So, like, say you were dating someone-”

“Like Parfait?!”

“...yeah, sure.” She sighed. “And like, say you were dating… what if… what would you do if…”

Tomato frowned. “What would I do if what?”

Lettuce could barely concentrate on what she was saying. Her head was too full of her voice. _Why should love be treated as a limited thing? Acting as if my love for him would be tainted by loving others... wouldn’t that be an insult to the both of us?_

“What would you do if I…”

“You?”

“If I-”

By what must have been a miracle, in the moment before Lettuce almost let everything spill out, she averted her eyes. And her gaze landed on something that made her thoughts come to a screeching halt.

“-what’s  _He_ doing here?!”

“WHERE” Tomato leapt about a foot in the air, turning his head wildly as he came down. “WH-”

Lettuce put a hand on his mouth, using the other hand to make a _shush!_ gesture. She pointed over his shoulder and his gaze followed.

It was easy to see the princess’s balcony from the garden. In the evening light, it was a little harder to make out the princess standing there, as she often did on clear nights.

It was very, very easy to see The Nightmare Knight.

He simply stood with her, utterly massive as always, surrounded by a cloak of shadow and purple starlight as always. Voices could be heard- words too far away, but clearly the tail end of a conversation by tone. The princess waved, to which He only responded with a curt nod. His cloak flared, and He vanished as quickly as they had noticed Him.

Tomato and Lettuce stood silently for a few moments, pressed under the shadow of the awning.

“He’s not-” Tomato was the first to speak. “You don’t think He’s gonna, re-appear down here or something?”

“...no,” said Lettuce. _If He was going to, He would have done it already._ She decided not to add that second part.

“Y-yeah, of course He wouldn’t,” Tomato said with a shaky chortle. “He acts all big and tough, but you can tell He doesn’t wanna mess with me!”

“He probably just didn’t notice us.”

“...oh.”

The two were silent.

After a moment, Tomato scratched the back of his neck. “...why do you think she was laughing?”

Lettuce said nothing.

“T-the princess, I mean.”

“I know.”

“O-oh.”

Silence.

“...she probably was just putting on an act to get Him to leave faster,” he laughed after a moment. “Girls do that sometimes, right? Act all happy and giggle-y with guys they don’t like?”

“Yeah,” Lettuce said flatly.

_Sometimes they do it with other girls._

 

* * *

 

The next day, Lettuce didn’t say anything when the princess opened the door, inviting her in before she could even knock. She didn’t say anything when the princess only sketched for ten minutes before laughing and admitting “today didn’t feel like a drawing day.” She didn’t say anything as the princess brought out a folder of loose drawings to display on her bed.

“This one, gracious, it’s from over a year ago! No no, don’t look- here, this one’s a lot better.”

Lettuce didn’t say anything, and didn’t say anything.

“This one’s me trying to do a self-portrait, and this one’s Carrot, but I really couldn’t capture how handsome his face is, I’m afraid…”

Lettuce didn’t say anything and didn’t say anything and didn’t. Say. Anything.

“And this is you!! You haven’t seen these yet, haven’t you?” The stupid, awful, lying, snobby, saccharine little excuse for a princess tittered primly as she displayed two sheets to Lettuce. “This one here is the first proper sketch I did of you- not the pose you helped me with, that one doesn't count- and this one is the one from a few days ago! I’ve gotten a lot better, don’t you…”

The princess trailed off.

“...Lettuce? Is something wrong?”

  
Lettuce

didn’t

say

anything

  
and looked at the folder on her bed.

The princess followed her gaze, to where several other drawings were spilling out on comforter. A different style, a heavy hand than what she usually used. Deep shadows. Lots of purple.

Him.

“...ah,” she said, pursuing her lips. “I didn’t mean to bring those- not my best work.” She drifted over to the bed, letting her finger graze one of the papers. “I… can not say he is much of a talker, but he’s at least a good inspiration-”

“You’re such a little fake.”

The princess froze.

“...I’m sorry?”

“You’re so fake.” Lettuce had to enunciate every word hard in order to get her voice past her gritted teeth. “Everything about you is, so damn fake.”

“Lettuce, I don’t know what you-”

“That night!” She yelled. “That night, on the balcony, He came for you when you yelled! You- you act all demure and sweet and HELPLESS, all Little Miss Pure Pretty Princess when you have HIM eating out of the palm of your hand!”

The princess had a resolute expression on her face, like she expected this conversation would eventually happen. “He came because he heard me crying-!”

“Yes!” Lettuce laughed, a harsh sound in her throat. “He heard you _crying_ , because that’s what you _do_ , you cry and you beg and you pine for a man who left you here, you go on about True Love, you act like you can’t do a thing about anything when you’re constantly- constantly playing with people!”

“How do I play with-?!”

“You do it! All the time!!! With m- with Tomato! That night, when you were playing the poor little damsel who lost your treasured little _locket_ , the way you toyed with Tomato- you knew what he feels for you, and you USED it! You used HIM!!!!”

The princess stared at her.

“And- and for what?! For what end?! We were down there for _hours_ , and the next day you _mysteriously_ had it back! Was it just, just for a laugh?! To laugh at him- to laugh at us?!”

“No,” she said softly. Her eyes were on the floor. “I wasn’t laughing- not at you.”

_“Shut up!”_ Lettuce yelled. “And, and last night- we saw Him! We saw Him with you!!! You acted so scared him about Him, that night He appeared, but then here you are, all buddy-buddy with Him! You set Him on Tomato!!!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“And, and I bet that’s why- I bet He was the one who made Cordelia reassign Tomato!” Lettuce was only listening with half an ear. She was beginning to pace. _“You_ were the one who made Him! You- you’re so-!” Lettuce clenched her fingers around the air in front of her. “You, you act all sugary-sweet and delicate, like this little, perfect doll who couldn’t harm a fly, when you’ve got Him, and Cordelia, and Tomato, and me, all wrapped around your little finger! You- you-!!!”

She whirled around on the princess.

_“You, are, so, so so fake!!!”_

The princess simply stood there.

There weren’t any fake tears, like Lettuce expected. There wasn’t thinly veiled rage, like Lettuce was hoping for. Her face was carefully composed, but with something crumpled in her eyes, like a wilting flower. Looking at her, Lettuce realized, for the first time, that the princess had been gradually looking brighter- healthier, since Tomato had been reassigned. But even that brightness was faded here. The princess didn’t look like a princess. She looked like an ordinary young woman.

Parfait looked tired.

“He was warning me not to escape again.”

Lettuce opened her mouth to respond, but found nothing for a moment.

“...what?” She finally managed.

“Last night, when The Nightmare Knight was on my balcony…” The princess looked at the floor, arms wrapped around herself. “He was telling me not to try escaping. It was not a friendly chat, he and I- He and I are not exactly friends. I did not call Him, that night with Tomato.”

Lettuce stared a moment, before letting out a forced bark of laughter. “And why should I believe that?! When have you ever tried escaping?!”

“The night I asked you to find my locket.”

And this time, Parfait brought her eyes up to look straight into Lettuce’s.

“You were right, in a sense, Dame Lettuce,” she said quietly. “The plan to make you search for my locket- it was a ruse, yes. But it was not to laugh at you, or play with you. When you left to look in the garden, you left my door unguarded. I slipped out…” She sighed. “And He found me.”

Noiseless words left Lettuce’s lips. _That’s impossible._ “T…” _You’re lying._ “Y…” But no matter how much she wanted to say it, she couldn’t. She never saw Parfait that night. And it was the obvious plan, so obvious that Lettuce felt smaller with every passing second of understanding she missed what the princess had clearly been doing.

And her eyes-

Parfait’s eyes were not lying.

“You…”

“You weren’t exactly wrong, Dame Lettuce,” Parfait sighed. “Tricking you in order to try to escape, using Tomato’s feelings for me against him- yes, I suppose you could call me a fake.”

And Parfait looked at Lettuce sadly- she looked straight at Lettuce, and she felt like she was frozen by the piercing heat in her gaze.

“But if I’m a fake, Lettuce, you must know you’re a fake as well.”

Lettuce could swear she felt something shatter. It felt as if the air around her was broken glass, cracked and falling to the floor.

“Wh…” She tried to laugh, a hollow plastic sound. “What are you…” Lettuce- a knight, a royal knight- the knight backed away from the princess, knees wobbling. “What in the world are you saying?! Ha-ha-ha, ha-how, just how am I a fake?!”

The princess was quiet a moment. Almost solemn.

“... a person pretending to be much less intelligent than they really are seems pretty fake to me.”

Before Lettuce’s eyes, a tiny smile appeared on Parfait’s face. Just a small one.

“Wouldn’t you, like, agree?”

One smile. Four words.

That was all it took to reduce Lettuce to dust.

“Y… you….” Lettuce’s mouth was moving in a fairly decent impression of a fish. “You, I-” Her shoulders were rising, her cheeks blazing so hot it was making her eyes beginning to water. “I, I...I-”

Eternities passed.

“Ineedtogo.”

Lettuce, Dame Lettuce, Dame Lettuce of the Royal Knights-

Lettuce turned on her heel and ran.

 

* * *

 

“-if there’s no questions, no concerns, so on so on,” Cordelia sighed, slouching in her throne. “I hereby declare the morning assignments compl-”

“Um.”

The eyes of every knight was instantly on Lettuce.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes at her. “What _IS IT,_ Lettuce.”

“I, uh…” She looked at Tomato, who stared back at her with wide, panicked eyes. “Is it… could I maybe, uh, like be reas…re…”

“Be _what._ Speak up.”

Lettuce wilted.

“...like… nevermind.”

A vein throbbed under Cordelia’s eye for a dangerous second.

“...morning assignments complete, then.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you okay?” Tomato asked in the mess hall. “Why'd ya interrupt the boss like that?”

Lettuce looked at the heap of slop in front of her.

“Hello? Dreamside to Lettuce! What’s wrong with you?!”

Lettuce looked at Tomato.

_...what IS wrong with me._

“And why is your face so red?”

 

* * *

 

Lettuce opened the door, placed the tray of food on the floor, and slid it over the doorway. The door banged shut.

After a moment, she let out a breath.

Fine. It was fine. It could just be like this.

They didn’t need to talk. They didn’t even need to be in the same room. All she had to do was stand next to the door.

So she did that.

With perfect posture, Lettuce set her back against the wall and stood at attention.

She was the perfect picture of a knight.

 

 

 

Until the sound of soft footsteps approached from the other side of the door.

Lettuce actually heard the soft shuffle of paper before she saw it. Her eyes instantly squeezed shut, her shoulders bunching towards her ears. She knew she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t. She shouldn’t-

Lettuce turned to the door. A piece of paper lay half-exposed under the doorcrack.

For a moment, Lettuce hoped she could ignore it. After a few seconds, the paper was pulled back inside, only to pushed back out once again.

It was pulled back.

Then pushed out.

It was pulled back.

Then pushed-

“Okay, okay,” Lettuce groaned to the empty hall. She stomped as quietly as she could to the door and grabbed the paper. As she pulled, a pencil rolled out right after it- a colored pencil. Green. Of course. Lettuce closed her eyes for a moment, then read the pink words before her:

 

_Lunch on the ground? What kind of way is that to treat a princess? ;P_

 

**_you shouldn’t do this. we shouldn’t do this._ **

 

Lettuce wrote it in the biggest letters she could, swallowing up most of the sheet. She shoved the paper back, straightening up, ready to return to her position immediate-

The paper slid back out.

Lettuce groaned.

 

_Why not? If anything, shouldn’t a couple of fakes like us stick together?_

 

Despite being cramped at the very, very bottom of the sheet, her delicate handwriting was a work of art in itself. That was definitely the only thing that kept Lettuce from crumpling the paper into a ball.

A second paper skittered out from under the door.

 

_Lettuce, I hope you know I’ve enjoyed our time together._

_It’s true we didn’t get off to a good start, but I’m glad to have made friends with you._

 

Lettuce couldn’t help it. She scrawled.

 

**_“made friends?” “didn’t get off to a good start??”_ **  
**_thats kind of putting it lightly, don’t you think?_ **

 

If Lettuce was quiet, she could hear a quiet scrawling hand from the other side of the door. Was she sitting on the floor?

 

_I’m not lying! I know that might be hard to believe from a fake like me, but I mean it!_

 

Finally, Lettuce relented. She plopped down on the ground with a sigh, back pressed to the door.

 

**_ok ok i get it_ **  
**_cut it out with the fake talk_ **  
**_you’re not a fake_ **

 

_I’m not saying it because I’m mad, Lettuce._  
_Like I said, you were right in a way._  
_But!!!_  
_I think, if I can admit to being a little fake,_  
_Perhaps someone else should as well? :P_

 

**_Okaaaaay_ **  
**_yes im a big fake_ **  
**_i act like a total ditz and write awful awful poetry about love and stuff_ **  
**_Happy?_ **

 

_I mean, I never knew about the poetry :O_

 

**_UGH_ **  
**_when did you_ **  
**_figure it out_ **

 

_Well… a few weeks ago, perhaps?_  
_I must admit, it was quite cute!_  
_Realizing you had gotten so relaxed around me you forgot to say things like “whatever”_  
_And “like” of course!_

 

**_u g h_ **  
**_great. just great_ **

 

_Oh please don’t be mad, Lettuce._  
_If anything…_  
_I kind of liked learning this about you?_  
_Realizing there was more to you than someone’s lackey._  
_It reminded me of_  
_Well, of someone else I know!_  
_They’re sort of… an important person._  
_So they have to act the way everyone expects of them._  
_Strong and self-assured._  
_Without doubts._  
_But they’ve admitted to me that it’s hard keeping this front up._  
_I don’t think they really have any friends…_  
_Thinking about that made me so sad._  
_So I’ve been keeping their secret for them!_

 

Lettuce blinked, squinting at the paper.

 

**_who is this person?_ **

_If I told you that, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it! ;P_

 

Lettuce sighed.

 

_But my point is..._  
_I suppose many people are fake, in a sense?_  
_We all have roles we must fill, or feel we must fill._  
_The brave knight, the damsel in distress,_  
_The villain…_  
_But that’s the thing, Lettuce. I don’t think life is ever that simple!_  
_You don’t have to be the ditz._  
_Nor do you have to be the lackey holding a girl’s arms so she can’t escape from a man._

 

**_What?? I d_ **

 

Lettuce’s pencil paused.

 

_**Are you saying I did that???** _  
_**When did i ever do that??** _

 

_The night I “set the Nightmare Knight on Tomato.”_

 

That wasn’t true! Lettuce never- Lettuce didn’t…

(Lettuce remembered. Lettuce had looked away, because she didn’t want to see Parfait admit she loved Tomato, like she clearly must have, because what woman wouldn’t?? She didn’t want to see Tomato and her embrace-)

(She had looked away, trying to tune it out. She had been tuning out Parfait’s protests-)

(Protests?)

(Parfait had been protesting, crying, almost. She had writhed in Lettuce’s grasp.)

(Lettuce’s grasp?)

(She had tuned Parfait’s voice out… how did she tune out the memory of holding her… holding her so she couldn’t fight back… or run away…)

 

**i**  
**oh**

 

_What, you remembered all about that night, but you didn’t remember that part?_  
_;P_

 

The little doodle of a winking face seemed scribbled on at the last moment, as if Parfait had wanted to soften her words a little. It didn’t really help.

 

_**i** _  
_**you don’t have to downplay it, if you’re angry** _  
_**you should be angry** _  
_**that was a** _  
_**scummy thing to do** _  
_**i’m** _

 

Lettuce took a deep breath.

 

**_i’m sorry, parfait_ **

 

_Well, thank you for apologizing._  
_At least you’re trying to make up for it!_

 

**_but i_ **  
**_how does just apologizing make up for it_ **  
**_when i’ve been so_ **  
**_I’ve treated you so badly_ **  
**_and said all those things to you_ **  
**_i_ **  
**_i don’t know parfait_ **  
**_you said i don’t have to be a lackey or a villain but_ **

 

Lettuce’s throat bobbed as she swallowed.

 

**_if it was this easy for me to be this person_ **  
**_maybe i am just a villain_ **

 

The paper stayed on Parfait’s side of the door for a long time.

 

_Well, Lettuce,_  
_It’s true that words can’t always fix things._  
_An apology isn’t a guarantee of forgiveness._  
_But it’s the only place where forgiveness can start._  
_You won’t know until you at least give it a shot, right?_  
_I think you at least deserve that._

 

**_...then, where do i go from here?_ **

 

_Well, seeing as I was the person you’re apologizing to…_  
_I guess I must decide if I forgive you or not!_

 

**_...do you?_ **

 

_Hm._  
_I don’t know yet._  
_I guess we’ll have to meet a few more times so I can decide!_

 

Despite herself, Lettuce smiled.

 

**_jeez._ **  
**_i was wrong about calling you a fake_ **  
**_you’re just as sugary as you look._ **

 

_I can be both! ;P_  
_Maybe I’m just artificial sweetener._

 

Lettuce laughed. From the other side of the door, she heard a soft giggle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Carrot…_  
_You’re in danger, aren’t you?_  
_I know it…_  
_I can sense it, even though we’re far apart._  
_Please don’t forget. Carrot…_  
_No matter what you are going through…_  
_I’m always here, in your heart._

 

 

 

 

 

**What does that matter?**

 

 

 

Lettuce jerked awake.

As she blinked her eyes wildly, vision and memory returned to her in that order. She was sitting slumped against the wall next to Parfait’s door. It had been an ordinary day, other than the fact that Cordelia had assigned her overnight duty that morning, something Tomato had nervously told her at breakfast usually meant that the so-called queen was mad. Lettuce had barely listened (she was finding herself listening to Tomato less and less these days) and had spent the day doing more modeling for Parfait, chatting, and trying to steel herself for the long shift.

Apparently that hadn’t worked, she thought with a bit of embarrassment. At least no one had been around to catch her napping on the job.

...but, what had woken her up then?

Lettuce suddenly felt very tense. The air around her felt weirdly still, like the silence in a restaurant after a plate breaks. She had never roamed the castle this late before, not without other people.

 

It was too quiet.

 

Lettuce held her breath.

 

The hall was silent.

 

...

 

After a few moments, Lettuce sighed with a little laugh. It really was

_“NO!!!”_

A half-strangled scream rang out from the other side of the door.

Parfait.

“P-Parfait?!”

Barely thinking, she grabbed her spear and charged into the room, the door banging against the wall to let her in. The room was dark, the normally cheery colors swallowed in shadow. She swung her head wildly, looking for- looking for _something_ , some she-had-no-idea-what, she could only fear the worst, fear something terrible had happened to-

“P-Princess!”

A weak, pained cry struggled down from the loft.

  
Lettuce thumped up the staircase, heart thudding in her ribcage. A dark shape lay on Parfait’s bed, jerking slightly, as if panting. She dashed over, yanking off the covers-

“Wh-what…”

It was… of course it was Parfait, it was obviously her, but… something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Her body was limp and her eyes were scrunched tight, as if she was still sleeping, but strange, wordless cries of distress kept escaping her. Her beautiful face was streaked with tears, her mouth shuddering. It would have been easy to just pass it off as her suffering from a nightmare, but…

But her skin.

She wore a simple nightgown that exposed her legs and arms, and they...

_It’s the moonlight,_ Lettuce thought. It had to have just been the faint light of the night, it had to be that making her skin seem so sickly, pale and colorless, so pale that it made strange, unearthly grey veins stand out against her neck and face… looking almost like cracks.

“H-hey...” The words were strangely weak in Lettuce’s throat. She grasped Parfait by the shoulder. Her head fell back, as if lifeless. “Hey!!!” Lettuce’s voice cracked as she shook her. “Princess! Wake up!”

Parfait moaned. “C… Car…”

Lettuce stared at her, eyebrows furrowed, before her eyes dropped to the locket, around her neck as always. It wasn’t orange (so tacky) anymore- it pulsed with a strange, unsettling grey light.

She didn’t even think as she pulled it off Parfait’s neck.

Lettuce flinched for a moment, expecting the locket to sting her, or burn her, or _something_ \- but it simply hung in her hand. The light dimmed, but the heart-shaped gem remained a dull grey. It didn’t burn her, not exactly, but she felt a sort of energy moving through it, from her fingers up her arm. It didn’t hurt, but the longer Lettuce held it, the uneasier she felt. She turned to fling it on Parfait’s nightstand-

Parfait was awake.

Parfait’s hand was at her breast, her eyes wide and still leaking tears.

“No,” she whispered.

“H-hey…” Lettuce stuttered.

Lettuce braced herself as the princess charged at her- but she was still shocked at how heavy she felt, as she didn’t so much leap at her as _collapsed_ against her. The air was pushed out of Lettuce’s lungs as Parfait scrabbled against her.

“Give it back!”

“Parfait!”

Lettuce lifted the locket high above her head. Parfait’s arm moved as if she was swimming through molasses as she reached, but she still struggled.

_“Give it back!”_ Her voice reached a wild pitch. “Give it to me!!!”

“It was HURTING you!” Lettuce shouted. Briefly she wondered if The Nightmare Knight would show up again.

_“HE’S_ hurt!” Parfait screamed. Lettuce had never seen her like this. She seemingly couldn’t stop sobbing. “He’s, there’s something wrong with him, he’s hurt and I need to-”

“You don’t need to do anything!” Moving carefully so as not to let the locket touch Parfait again, Lettuce grabbed her by the shoulders. “You don’t even know where he is, you can’t do anything for him right now!”

“Just give it to me!” Parfait’s pretty face crumpled, as if she was trying to be angry, but she just kept weeping. “I can help him- I can!! I need to help him!”

_“FORGET ABOUT HIM FOR A SECOND!”_

Parfait’s eyes widened as if Lettuce had struck her.

“He needs help- _YOU_ need help! Look at you-” and Lettuce moved back to demonstrate how Parfait’s body slumped oddly without any support, “-you can barely move! That locket DID something to you! Just-”

Lettuce’s voice croaked oddly.

“Just think about yourself for once, and let me help you!”

Tears still flowed down Parfait’s face, but she fell silent for a moment. The two of them stared at each other wordlessly.

“How…” Parfait sniffed, eyebrows furrowed. “How do you expect to help me?”

“I… I don’t know, just…” Lettuce took her by her hands. “Just, get up first, and…” She fell silent as Parfait slowly wobbled to her feet. “What’s wrong with you…” Lettuce murmured, eyes hooded. “It’s like you’re, you’re half-made of stone or something.”

“Lettuce.”

“You’re half-frozen, you’re crying your eyes out like you just saw the worst thing in the world, and you’re still worrying about him first…” Lettuce couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “He’s a lucky guy-”

_“Lettuce.”_

She looked into her eyes against, and though they were still rimmed red and raw, still wet with tears, her gaze pierced Lettuce. Even though she was several inches shorter than Lettuce, Parfait suddenly seemed like she was seven feet tall, for how small Lettuce suddenly felt.

That look…

It was that exact same look, eyes vivid green and electric, that had pierced Lettuce’s facade that night she had called her a fake.

“Lettuce,” and her voice was surprisingly firm. “How do you expect to help me.”

“I…” Lettuce could feel the hair on the back of her neck prickling. “I don’t know, I just…”

She swallowed. Parfait stepped closer.

“I just know I want to.”

In a single step, shared between both of them at once, they brought their lips together.

 

 

Parfait still seemed shaky as they kissed, as if she might collapse at any moment. Lettuce grasped her by the shoulders once again, but gently this time. Her fingers almost flinched away from Parfait’s cold skin instinctively, but she held her. She practically pressed Parfait against her.

Her lips were so soft.

 

 

It could have been hours- or maybe days- but eventually they pulled apart. They could only stare at one another for a few seconds, panting to catch their breath. Parfait, despite having been a complete wreck only a little while ago- still looking a little pink around the eyes- seemed only mildly flustered. In contrast, Lettuce could feel her cheeks practically glowing in the low light. She was suddenly aware of her heavy breathing, of the fact that she hadn’t brushed her teeth since that morning, her-

“My shoulder,” Parfait murmured.

Her shoulder-

“I-” Lettuce let her go, hands flying away. “I, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have- this was a-”

“No… look.” Parfait turned slightly so Lettuce could see what she was looking at: the places where Lettuce’s hands had held her, the greyness had- it had _contracted_ , leaving her skin looking normal in those spots.

“And I feel better there too, less stiff, less cold...”

“You’re feeling cold too?” So Lettuce hadn’t just been imagining it. “But, I don’t understand… what did the locket do to you?”

Parfait held her mouth shut for a moment. “I don’t know,” she said slowly, “But Lettuce… I think you’re fixing it.”

“What?”

“Your touch…” She looked at Lettuce directly again, with _those_ eyes. “I think your touch is healing me.”

Lettuce swallowed.

 

* * *

 

Lettuce left her armour in a heap at the foot of Parfait’s bed. She thanked whoever was watching after her that she had chosen to wear a simple tunic under that day, nothing too embarrassing-

Except it WAS embarrassing. Lettuce’s tunic pretty much exposed as much skin as Parfait’s nightgown, but for how she usually dressed in front of her- for how the both of them usually dressed in front of each other, it was practically like being naked. Her face felt like a neon sign. She couldn’t believe this. This had to be a dream.

The mattress creaked behind her, and Lettuce heard Parfait let out a stifled sound of pain. Lettuce turned to see her gingerly holding herself, eyes shut tight as she breathed slowly. Lettuce hadn’t realized how much she had still been hurting.

Lettuce took a deep breath.

“Okay… okay.” Lettuce carefully, carefully got on the bed, right beside Parfait. Their faces were right next to each other. “Okay, I’m just gonna…” She gingerly laid her hands on Parfait’s arms, feeling that sharp cold once again. Lettuce winced, before steeling herself and gently moving closer. “Okay. Alright. I’m going to, I’m going to do this. I’m sorry, I know this is… but if it helps you, if it really can help you, I’ll do it.”

“Okay. Lettuce?”

“...yeah?”

“Could you kiss me again?”

 

 

Lettuce kissed her again.

 

 

The mattress creaked as Lettuce brought Parfait close to her. Chest against chest. Her arms encircled Parfait, and occasionally the strange, stony chill of Parfait’s skin bit Lettuce. She still held her close.

A spike of heat went up Lettuce’s spine as her ankle brushed against Parfait’s. Lettuce’s eyes dipped for a moment, looking at Parfait’s long, graceful legs. Carefully, she brought her own legs to gently graze hers. Lettuce flushed and thanked the universe that the curse- the whatever it was, it hadn’t seemed to have spread further than Parfait’s limbs. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if-

 

-anyways, she kissed Parfait.

 

Lettuce kissed Parfait, and she held Parfait, and as she did she felt the cold fade from her. Parfait seemed to almost melt into Lettuce’s arms, like she was giving her energy.

Warmth.

Even as Parfait’s arms began to unstiffen, she didn’t pull away. If anything, now it felt more like Parfait was kissing _her._ Her hands, small and dainty, were surprisingly strong as they laced through Lettuce’s hair. She pressed herself closer to Lettuce, even though they couldn’t possibly be any closer. Like she couldn’t bear to be apart.

...or maybe Lettuce was just projecting.

Lettuce kissed Parfait, and she did her best to not think about Carrot, or Tomato, or Cordelia or the Nightmare Knight. The world, for a few moments, was just a bed.

 

 

  
But eventually, they pulled apart once again.

Lettuce stared at the ceiling as Parfait slowly examined herself. After a moment, Lettuce let her eyes drop to the night table right by her head. The locket lay there, still grey. It felt like an eye.

Lettuce averted her gaze.

“Do you…” She started, then paused. “Are you better?”

“I think so,” Parfait said quietly. She sighed. _“Thank you,_ Lettuce.”

Lettuce’s heart clenched. “I, I shouldn’t…” Everything she had been trying not to think about suddenly hit her at once. “I’m sorry, I should go-”

“What?” Parfait propped herself up on her arms as Lettuce suddenly stood. “Why are you apologizing- you _helped_ me. I asked for your help.”

“...I shouldn’t have wanted to do this.”

A lump grew in Lettuce’s throat.

“...you haven’t done anything wrong, Lettuce. We haven’t done anything wrong.”

Lettuce let out a strangled laugh. “I’ve, I’ve done so many things wrong, Princess, you don’t even-” She dragged her hand down her face. “You, you and Carrot-”

“Lettuce.” Parfait’s laugh was gentle. “Didn’t I tell you about how we wanted to let ourselves be open to the idea of loving other people?”

“Me and Tomato-”

This time, Parfait’s laugh was a little less gentle. _“Lettuce.”_

Lettuce looked back at her helplessly.

“I just… Princess, I - _Parfait,_ I don’t _know._ There’s just, so, so much, and...”

Parfait had that look in her eyes again, the look before they had kissed, but there was something more gentle in it this time. It was… sadder.

Lettuce thought it might be understanding.

“You’re right, Lettuce. There’s a lot… to think about, to talk about…” Parfait touched her chest for a brief moment, and Lettuce knew she had tried reaching for her locket. After a moment, she let her hand drop. “...in any case, I don’t think we will get anywhere this late at night. For now… for now, could I ask you for one more selfish thing?”

Lettuce let out a soft laugh. “You want me to stay with you.”

Parfait looked at her, and Lettuce instantly felt bad. She also, once again, couldn’t believe Tomato had fell for her act all those months back. This, she realized, was what true vulnerability looked like on Parfait’s face.

“I’m, I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you-”

“I know, it’s fine, I just…” Parfait sighed. “I do not… I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“...yeah. Me neither.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Lettuce laid with her back to Parfait, She imagined Parfait was doing the same. She would have liked to imagine Parfait was doing the same.

Lying like this, the locket was once again right in front of Lettuce’s eyes.

“Carrot won’t like this.” Lettuce’s voice was harsh in the silence. “It doesn’t matter if he’s okay with you being with other people- you think he’d be okay with you being with one of the knights who betrayed you and your father? His kingdom?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

" _I_ wouldn’t forgive myself,” Lettuce said with a small laugh. “All the things we’ve done… the things I’ve done, just to follow Tomato…”

“...you don’t sound confident about Cordelia's plans.”

“I don’t care. I barely care about any of that anymore…” Lettuce laughed once more. “It’s funny, I’ve spent so much time as a fake, I don’t think I really know what I actually want anymore.”

Parfait was silent.

“...Parfait, that friend of yours… the one you said had to pretend to be strong and stuff... do you know what they’re doing now?”

For a moment, Lettuce wasn’t sure if Parfait had heard her. But slowly, she spoke: “I’m not sure, exactly… but the last time we spoke, I advised them to try and be honest with the people around them.”

“Hn.”

“And,” and Parfait gently touched Lettuce’s back. “I told him to remember that I was cheering him on. I told him to remember he wasn’t alone anymore.” A silence, and Parfait’s lips landed on the base of Lettuce’s neck for a soft, quiet moment. “And I want you to remember that too.”

Lettuce’s throat ached, and for a moment she bit back tears for reasons she couldn’t fully explain.

The tears passed, and in their wake was only exhaustion. Lettuce’s eyelids began to droop, but as they did, a thought suddenly struck her.

" _‘He_ wasn’t alone?’” Lettuce murmured. “Is… Parfait, is this friend of yours just Carrot?”

As she slipped into sleep, Lettuce just barely heard Parfait let out a gentle laugh. It was a little sad, but mostly sweet.


End file.
